Walter Ego

24 in 2015!

10/31/2015

Lyrics

What was I thinking about
Before I was thinking about
What I'm thinking about now?

Once an interruption occurs
You can never go back
To where you were

What was I thinking about
When I was thinking about
Anything but you?

Where on earth did the last five miles go?
How did I end up here?
I do not know

I'm driving distracted, but I am fine
If I had needed to
I could have reacted in time

What was I thinking about
When I was thinking about
Anything but you?

I wish that I had eyes
In the back of my head
To see what I should have seen
With the eyes in the front instead

I think I'm gonna retreat to Walden Pond
If I cannot be reached
I don't need to respond

I’m not gonna wait till I am on my deathbed
To wish I that I had concentrated
On you instead

What was I thinking about
When I was thinking about
Anything but you?

What was I thinking about
When I was thinking about
Anything but you?

08/01/2015

Lyrics

When they come looking for an explanation
There will be some tantalizing clues
Some of you have heard me recite passages
Some of you have read a page or two

My manifesto, My manifesto
If you read every single word then you will know
Why I have done what I have done
Why I will do what I'm about to do
It's all in my manifesto

There were boxes stashed up in the attic
But that was six or seven addresses ago
Even if you think you know somebody
How can you ever really know?

My manifesto, My manifesto
If you read every single word then you will know
Why I have done what I have done
Why I will do what I'm about to do
It's all in my manifesto

I wish that everything was not so complicated
That I needed to explain

Will I outlive it or it will outlive me?
Is it finished if I say it is today?
Maybe someday someone else will make my life’s work
Their life’s work, and I can live forever that way

My manifesto, My manifesto
If you read every single word then you will know
Why I have done what I have done
Why I will do what I'm about to do
It's all in my manifesto
It's all in my manifesto

11/30/2015

Lyrics

When the USSR fell apart, they stashed a stockpile away
In microwaves and third world caves, most undiscovered to this day
Red mercury, red mercury

It is a thick red liquid with a brilliant metallic shine
300 K is what you’ll pay per kilogram for mine
Red mercury, red mercury

The black is an aphrodisiac
And the orange will cure you
There is no color mercury
That will not do anything you want it to do

If what you lack is maximum destruction
Then what you need is a big bang for your buck, son
Red mercury
Red mercury

Don’t be deceived, dishonorable thieves will try this trick:
Ordinary mercury mixed with red lip stick
Red mercury, red mercury

The black is an aphrodisiac
And the orange will cure you
There is no color mercury
That will not do anything you want it to do

It’s not a hoax, I’ve seen it folks, I’ve seen it with my own eyes
And you know it only goes to show it’s real when the government denies
Red mercury, red mercury

04/30/2015

Lyrics

You can call it a first novel
You can call it a memoir
Either way every word of the dialogue is fiction
But stick to your story, it got you this far

Play the game “Telephone” with yourself
Whisper your memories in your own ear
What you start with is not what you end up with
Don’t believe everything that you hear

Our next case is “The People against
The Man Picked Out of the Lineup
By the Woman Whose Hair Stood Up On the Back Of Her Neck When She Saw His Face”

She knew in her gut, “Oh My God, It Was Him”
She was absolutely sure
She was the only witness
It was an open and shut case

What you say you saw isn’t what you saw
No I’m not calling you a liar
You are just unreliable, that’s all

Forget everything you remember
Forget everything you think you know
About memory, but don’t worry
Everything that’s ever happened is captured on video
Everything that’s ever happened is captured from every conceivable angle on video
Everything‘s captured on video
Everything‘s captured on video

11/30/2015

Lyrics

I am writing this down while waiting in line
And if my turn comes up too soon and I don’t finish that’s fine

Waiting in line can be a waste of time, but it doesn’t need to cost you
If you’ve got a good book to read or someone interesting to talk to

I like spending all day Sunday, lying in bed, or sitting in my chair
I like living inside my head, I meet such interesting people there

I like living in my room, in my house, in my city, spinning
Around the world, around the sun, around a universe that’s just beginning

And if the universe ends up never ending in time or in space
I am not running out of time, I am not running in place

I’m walking fast to get where I am going soon, and to get away
From where I was, but you walk so slow that where you are must be okay

I am writing this down while waiting in line
And if my turn comes up too soon and I don’t finish that’s fine

01/31/2015

Lyrics

I put my tuxedo on
I put my triangle in its case
And I take the subway up to the concert hall
And I take my place

And I wait and I wait and I wait
Till my moment comes and I strike a blow
Then I rest and I pause and I pause and I rest
And I wait and I wait

And I wait and I wait and I wait
Till my moment comes and I strike again
And I pause and I rest and I rest and I pause
Until the end

I put my triangle back in its case
And I exit the hall
The subway takes me back home
I take my tuxedo off and I fall asleep

And I wait and I wait and I wait
Till my moment comes and I strike a blow
Then I rest and I pause and I pause and I rest
And I wait and I wait

And I wait and I wait and I wait
Till my moment comes and I strike again
And I pause and I rest and I rest and I pause
Until the end

09/01/2015

Lyrics

My radio does everything backwards
I switch it off to make the music play
It only plays the songs that everybody hates
I switch it on to make them go away

My radio, tomorrow it will play history
It only played the future yesterday
Today the format changed to all talk all the time
So now it only speaks when it’s got nothing to say

It is not from this century
It’s stuck in 1966
There is no way to get it fixed
Or tune it to the latest hits

My radio gets everything upside down
So every song is over when it starts
It wakes me up at bed time with the silent treatment
I turn the volume to the left to hear the quiet parts

It is not from this century
It’s stuck in 1966
There is no way to get it fixed
Or tune it to the latest hits

My radio, it never works until I unplug it
And double-check to be sure all the batteries are dead
Each time I throw that thing away, it’s back again the next day
I only understand it when I’m standing on my head

La la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la

12/31/2015

Lyrics

You don’t need a card
If we don’t need a card
You plus us still equals us
The math is not hard

Welcome to us
Welcome to us
Welcome to us

Take a pot of water
Add a drop of water, what have you got?
Does it suddenly stop being water?
No it does not

Welcome to us
Welcome to us
Welcome to us

You do not possess what we possess
And then you do, it’s easy
You are not one of us
And then you are, it’s alchemy

Welcome to us
Welcome to us
Welcome to us

05/31/2015

Lyrics

I am a man who knows how to make money
Down in the basement, the old fashioned way
With just the right printer and paper and ink
But getting away with it gets harder each day

I am making money, making money, making money

Here at the Bureau of Engraving and Printing
I make money too
I add the thread that glows red under UV rays
To make it harder for you

I am making money, making money, making money
I am making money, making money, making money

I am just made of ones and of zeros
But I arm incredibly clever and quick
I push and pull around millions of miniscule numbers
That add up to very big

I am the one who made you
For that I am well compensated
There may be some of you who disapprove of what I do
But the money makes up for the being hated

I am making money, making money, making money
I am making money, making money, making money

Don’t ask me what I do for a living
Don’t ask me what I do

I am making money, making money, making money
I am making money, making money, making money

10/31/2015

Lyrics

 

They used to bury blacks in the black graveyard
Next to the white ones, that’s the way it was
Black bodies segregated from white bodies
They all disintegrated, every body does

Now Michael Brown’s buried in that once-white graveyard
All the new customers in there are black
His granddaddy’s over in the black graveyard
Buried under trash and junked-out Cadillacs

Whether it’s white skin or black skin that covers up your white bones
When you die they lie alone

If Strom Thurmond went to white hell
I wonder what his black Satan had to say
‘Bout how ol’ Strom had himself a half-white daughter
After jumping the bones of Daddy’s black maid

Whether it’s white skin or black skin that covers up your white bones
When you die they lie alone

If Jefferson Davis went to white heaven
I wonder if his white God forgave
And if Jefferson Davis is in white heaven
I wonder if his white God lets him whip his slaves

03/29/2015

Lyrics

In threes
Stereotypes come in threes
When they walk into a bar
They know they’d better be funny

If you believe
That good things come in threes
After seeing two
Then number three is what you’re bound to see

Good things come in twos too
Like hands or eyes, like you and I
And one can be alone but not lonely
Good things come to those who wait
And in small packages
Good things come in fours and fives and infinity

In threes
The famous die in threes
Any time that two die
All the others worry, "Who’s next? Please not me!”

In threes
Wishes come in threes
Make your final wish
And maybe the genie will make you happy

05/31/2015

Lyrics

If you live
On Difficult Street
Pull yourself up by the bootstraps
Stand on your own two feet

This is
A meritocracy
You all started from the same
Starting block as me

Every time I win the lottery
Luck has nothing to do with it
Unless you consider it lucky
That I was born me

We all had an equal opportunity to be
Born on third base
Some rats are just more equal than
Others in the rat race

Every time I win the lottery
Luck has nothing to do with it
Unless you consider it lucky
That I was born me

I earned
Everything I‘ve got
If we get what you deserve
I deserve a lot

05/31/2015

Lyrics


Easy Street is on one side of the Interstate
Difficult Street is on the other side
You can make it from there to here
But it’s a bit of a roundabout ride

02/28/2015

Lyrics

Let me warn you now
How this has to end
One day you’ll be my enemy
Now, will you be my friend?

We will be inseparable
Up until we break
Then we’ll be irreparable
Sorry, your mistake

I have got two lists
A black one and a white one
If somebody crosses me
Good luck getting back on the right one

Let me not forgive you now
Let me not forget
What one day you will do to me
That you have not done yet

I have got two lists
A black one and a white one
Anyone who crosses me
Good luck getting back on the right one

There is only one side
To the story: mine

06/30/2015

Lyrics

This is what happens
When I just got out of bed
And listen to the
Right side of my head

I’ve composition books
Fifty-six filled
All filled up with brilliant things
And I’ll get to them, I will, but

This is what happens
When I’m prepared to be
Completely unprepared
For what happens to me

I don’t understand the mechanism
Let me get my tools and take it apart
Then put it back together
Or maybe, even better
Leave it like it is before I start

This is how it works
In my workshop when
It doesn’t even feel like work
It’s easy then

I don’t understand the mechanism
Let me get my tools and take it apart
Then put it back together
Or maybe, even better
Leave it like it is before I start

This is what happens
And this is what's next
This is what happens
This is what happens
This is what happens

02/28/2015

Lyrics

When we started out we were ahead of schedule
But somewhere we went wrong where we should’ve gone right
Just one little sleep deprived mistake that anyone could make
Has got us good and lost and it’s costing us the night

We’re going in the wrong direction
The faster we go, the faster we get
To the wrong place sooner
So we can turn around and retrace our steps

We just did a 180, or was it a 360?
Did the scenery start to repeat?
Will we ever find that great big red and white sign?
Warning us “WRONG WAY GO BACK”, it’s time to admit defeat

We’re going in the wrong direction
The faster we go, the faster we get
To the wrong place sooner
So we can turn around and retrace our steps

Now we finally decided to pull over
Delirious and desperate to turn this thing around
We keep looking at the same map we’ve been looking at
We've been looking at the map, looking at the map, looking at it upside down

We’re going in the wrong direction
The faster we go, the faster we get
To the wrong place sooner
So we can turn around and retrace our steps

We’re going in the wrong direction

10/03/2015

Lyrics

You might have noticed that I always wear
What I always wear and say what I always say
I just recorded it once
And ever since then I just press ‘Play’

Who says I have to be consistent?
Who says I have to be?

I’m gonna go down to the courthouse
And get my orientation changed
Then I’m gonna go back the next day
And turn it around so it’s still the same

Who says I have to be consistent?
Who says I have to be?
Who I have to be consistent?
Who says I have to be?

You’ve seen this episode fifty times before
You know exactly what I say
And how I trip coming through that door
But what if I act completely different?
What if I fail to pratfall?
What if I’m someone you’ve never seen?
What if I never enter at all?

Who says I have to be consistent?
Who says I have to be?
Who I have to be consistent?
Who says I have to be?

I’m gonna contradict myself
Then contradict the contradiction
I can’t change the laws of physics
But I can change the facts of fiction
When I was talking I wasn’t listening
To anything I said
Whatever it was, well now it is
The opposite instead

Who says I have to be consistent?
Who says I have to be?
Who I have to be consistent?
Who says I have to be?

06/30/2015

Lyrics

I woke up in the modern world today
All the battle flags are coming down
Everything that was forbidden
Is okay

When I went to sleep in the ancient world
Everybody was like me
Everything was illegal
That should be

I grew up in the simple world
I did what I was told
Everything I need to know I learned
When I was young and the world was old

Tomorrow morning I will wake up yesterday
Yesterday has been good to me
Why would I throw it away?

I grew up in the simple world
I did what I was told
Everything I need to know I learned
When I was young and the world was old

When I go to sleep in the ancient world tonight
Next to me will be my gun
When I wake up in the modern world
As long I‘ve still got that one freedom
I don’t really need the other ones

09/01/2015

Lyrics

You tally my imperfections
Then hope they'll just go away
They're on your mind but you find something
Easier to say

Better say what's on your mind
I don't catch the hints you're dropping
Though it seems like I'm not listening
Better say what's on your mind

My quirks become your irritations
Your patience has met its match
How you itch to break the silence
Well go ahead and scratch

Better say what's on your mind
I don't catch the hints you're dropping
Though it seems like I'm not listening
Better say what's on your mind

Which is my greater sin?
What it is I did or didn’t do
Or the very fact I need to ask you?

The clock on the wall keeps ticking
The faucet that drips won't stop
Somebody somewhere suddenly snaps
It's the dripping, not the drops

Better say what's on your mind
I don't catch the hints you're dropping
Though it seems like I'm not listening
Better say what's on your mind

Well, what am I doing now
That’s making you bite your tongue?

03/29/2015

Lyrics

You’re doing it, you’re doing it right now
That thing I hate
And maybe you will stop
Eventually, but why should I wait?

When there’s this button I can push
To make you disappear
To send you somewhere, anywhere
As long as it’s not here

The Banishment Button
The Banishment Button always works
On loudmouths, losers, bums and scum
On idiots and jerks
The Banishment Button
Fortunately it never fails
Because you all keep making me need to push
The Banishment Button

Well, that was close, you almost touched me
How dare you be unpleasant?
If you must suffer publically
Don’t do it in my presence

'Cause I have got this button
That will make you vaporize
You won't be hurt, but far away
Is where you’ll rematerialize

The Banishment Button
The Banishment Button always works
On loudmouths, losers, bums and scum
On idiots and jerks
The Banishment Button
Fortunately it never fails
Because you all keep making me need to push
The Banishment Button

My fingers in my ears are no solution for the sound you make
I cannot block it
Then I remember I have got the answer
Right here in my pocket

The Banishment Button
The Banishment Button always works
On loudmouths, losers, bums and scum
On idiots and jerks
The Banishment Button
Fortunately it never fails
Because you all keep making me need to push
The Banishment Button

What’s that you’ve got your finger on?
What are you brandishing?
I do not like the way you’re pointing
At me with that thing

04/30/2015

Lyrics

Once I've done it once
Why must I do it all over again?

Two billion heartbeats so far
Four hundred fifty million breaths
Seventy million footsteps
The last one like the first

Nineteen thousand bowls of cereal
Thirteen thousand shaves
Five examples, make that six
The last one is the worst

Once I've done it once
Why must I do it all over again?

08/01/2015

Lyrics

If you could see inside my head
You’d see doodles and to-do lists
And manifestos underlined in red
If you could see inside my head

If you could open up my mind
And poke your head around in there
I think you’d find you wouldn’t find what you expect to find
If you could open up my mind

Why are you the only one insightful enough
To diagnose me as sick?
Why are you the only one whose hearing is good enough
To hear the time bomb ticking?
Tick, tick, tick

If you could drill a hole in my head
Would it ease the pressure
That I’m under that I do not know I’m under
So I do not go postal instead?
If you could drill a hole in my head

Why are you the only one insightful enough
To diagnose me as sick?
Why are you the only one whose hearing is good enough
To hear the time bomb ticking?
Tick, tick, tick

If you could dig a mine in my mind
But you can’t, no you can’t
You’re wasting both your time and my time
You cannot dig a mine in my mind

I guess you think that amateur brain surgery is fun
But can you put the pieces back together when you’re done?

01/31/2016

Lyrics

Paris is perfect, must they build that stupid tower?
Your panoramic view will ruin my view
I can see the Arc de Triomphe and Notre Dame
Why would I need to see anything new?

Why can't it stay exactly like this forever?
Why can't it stay exactly like this forever?

There are a hundred thousand words in my dictionary
Copyright 1946
I don’t need new words, or new meanings for old words
And if the language ain’t broken, it’s fixed

Why can't it stay exactly like this forever?
Why can't it stay exactly like this forever?

Dylan goes electric
John Henry is replaced
She loves you not, she doesn’t care
Dylan stays acoustic
John Henry keeps his job
She loves you yeah, yeah, yeah

Now that we hippies have invented peace and love
We’re never going back to war and hate
Never again will someone wear a suit or get a haircut
The next fifty years are guaranteed to be great

Why can't it stay exactly like this forever?
Why can't it stay exactly like this forever?
Why can't it stay exactly like this forever?
Why can't it stay exactly like this forever?

12/31/2015

Lyrics

Give me a gun for Christmas
I'm insecure and I’m alarmed
The second Commandment grants me the right
To shoot bears and to bear arms!

So don’t give me what you always give me
Aftershave and a bag of cheer
Please give me something I can use
Blow me away this year!

What do think Santa's concealing
Under his jiggling suit of red?
What do think his elves are packing?
Something to shoot them all dead!

Remember a babe away in a mangerf
Swaddled with something shiny and cute
Remember who He grew up to be?
Now what would Jesus shoot?

What do you give the person who’s got
Gun after gun after gun?
How can you even ask the question?
Give me another one!
(And don’t forget the ammo!)

Give me a gun for Christmas
I'm insecure and I’m alarmed
The second Commandment grants me the right
To shoot bears and to bear arms!
(You gotta weaponize the war on the war on Christmas!)

12/31/2015

Lyrics

Martin Luther King, Zombie Killer

You know that Martin Luther King was a great man
But there is more to his history than you know
Martin Luther King lived a parallel life
Where a force much darker than bigotry was his foe

Martin Luther King, Zombie Killer
Martin Luther King, Zombie Killer

He had a dream, but he also had a nightmare
Where zombies walked among us, and they walked amok
Martin Luther King believed in non-violent resistance
But he drew the line at zombies, so those zombies were fucked

Martin Luther King, Zombie Killer
Martin Luther King, Zombie Killer

Zombies do not judge you by the content of your character
Nor the color of your skin, they only want what’s in your head
Martin Luther King had been to another mountaintop
Where his eyes had seen the glory of the killing of the undead

Martin Luther King, Zombie Killer
Martin Luther King, Zombie Killer

He killed a lot of zombies, but it seems the good die young
If he had only lived, today he would be
Our first zombie-killer ex-president
And we’d be living in a post-zombie society

Martin Luther King, Zombie Killer
Martin Luther King, Zombie Killer